Free fall... would be nice. No, really. I am alone in my mind, as I recall it time to time, and the shadows over the roof next to me are so boring. There is no life out there, only greyish-yellow and greyish blue, and I don't see any purpose for this.
The last hour, and everythong will be... not okay, just something else. Something else. Would be nice. I want life with dark lines, contrasts and saturation, not these pastel hours, days and weeks. I want to go somewhere, and be there for just being there. I'd like to do something, not these nothings I do day by day. It. Is. Not. Enough. Perhaps I never grow up, I never will be satisfied with myself, with my life, so what? It is not a life of joy and happiness. Not for me, anyway. Why should I pretend? Because I frighten away people? That' s really sad. Sometimes I think so. Not now.
I hate these colours of boredom. I hate myself cause I can't break free from these chains I hate. Can't free myself from the curse of banality.
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